Monday, 27 July 2009

Car Parked Illegally in the Handicapped Parking Space

I returned to the hotel after work yesterday to find a car parked in the handicapped parking spot outside of the entrance near my room. I checked. No handicapped plates. No little handicapped permit hanging from the rearview mirror. I looked around at the parking lot knowing that all the empty spaces in front of me were more than likely empty at whatever hour this jackass had parked his car in the Handicapped Parking Space. I was a little annoyed at this person's laziness and insensitivity, but in keeping with my new style, laid-back California attitude, I let it go.

This morning I went to work and the car was still in the same handicapped spot. I became further agitated.

This afternoon I came back for lunch and the car was still there. At this point, I became outraged. I thought about leaving a nasty note. But determined that would be ineffective. I thought about keying the car, but quickly became nervous about getting caught. So what did I do? I called up the front desk and tattled like a little fucking schoolgirl that a car was parked illegally.

Me: Ummm, yes, there has been a car parked in the handicapped space outside my room for almost 24 hours now and the car does not have handicapped plates. I just thought you should know.

Front Desk Lady: Ok. We'll take care of it.

Now, I don't really know what I expected them to do. I guess what I thought would happen is that they'd check the plates and find out what room the car owner was staying in and leave a mean message. Or even better, they'd slap an exorbitant parking ticket on the front windshield. Well, you can imagine my surprise when I left my hotel room 20 minutes later and there was a tow truck being hitched up to the illegally parked auto about to haul the stupid thing away. I stood there for a minute somewhat awestruck. The tow truck driver saw me and asked if the car was mine.

"Nope. Never seen it before," I replied, trying not to smile.

I quickly got into my own car and drove back to the site, thinking about how I had probably inadvertently ruined someone's day, possibly even their vacation.

And I laughed.

Oh my, did I ever laugh.

I honestly didn't mean to ruin someone's day. Well, not in this specific way, anyway. But I guess with all the bad car luck I've been having lately, it just felt good to know that someone else was getting fucked over. At the very least, I hope that the owner of the car will think twice before he parks in a handicapped parking spot again. Although, in reality, I don't really care. I'm just happy to know I screwed the fucker over.

The part that really gets me is that when I checked into this hotel, the place was practically full. They ended up having to "upgrade" me and give me one of the few rooms they had left - which just so happened to be one of the handicapped accessible rooms.

Downright hypocritical, wouldn't you say?

Friday Night Music with a Little Nudity!

Friday night I realized that I needed to not spend another night in my apartment with my cat. Since I don't know anyone to go out with, I just decided to go alone. I figured I'd look online for some local music because it had been a while since I'd gone to a show. And I was missing my rock-star friend Greg terribly. After some careful research I found two potential shows to attend: a semi-Radiohead wannabe band at a bar called the Bottom of the Hill or a Japanese punk band named Vomica at a bar around the corner from my house. After consulting with M and K, two of the biggest idiots I know, it was decided that the only show I could ever possibly attend by myself was the Vomica show.

And so I went.

The first band to go on was called Solid Dollar. I actually really liked them. They even did a cover of the Misfits We Are 138, which made me pretty happy.

And then came Vomica.

Punk isn’t normally my thing, but I kinda liked this band. Although really I can’t comment all that much on the music because it was difficult for me to concentrate on the sound since the lead singer, a Japanese-American man with very long hair, performed naked. Completely, 100% naked. For the entire show. As though I don’t find naked men repulsive enough, the singer was dancing around. And making his tiny little wang do all kinds of tiny little things (I’m going to cut the guy some slack and give him the “it was cold in there” benefit of the doubt). I was so shocked, I could do nothing but laugh. And stare. And wonder why the hell I left Boston where people perform in bars with their clothes on.

A gentleman who hung out with me that night at the show, who was also a fellow east-coaster, informed me that not all bands out here perform naked. But he went on to say that nudity is much more prevalent and accepted out here. Then he told me about the Folsom Street Fair, which is happening today (Sunday) and is a fair to celebrate leather, leather fetishes, and god knows what else. Yeah, so I'mmna definitely attend that today. Fuck. Why the hell not. I'm bringing my camera with me though. I can’t even imagine what the hell I’m about to see.